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January 5th, 2009
06:56 pm
I have a heartache that won't go away. The doctor says I'll be o.k. but missing you still really, really hurts. Sheesh. This is hard.
love,
nadiya.
ps these are 100% made for you
This is the note that came with my earrings. Actually, this is the note my earrings came stuck into. I retyped it exactly as it's written with a teeny bit of spacing changes. Who on earth is nadiya, and who is she missing? Oh, anthropologie. You puzzle me.
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July 28th, 2008
10:16 pm - weeee i'm lame like maggie!
HISTORY OF ME:
1) Raised in: winter park
2) Your name? kyra
3) Birth date: january 20th 1993.
4) Any siblings: yes
5) Oldest of them all? me
6) Hair color? light brown
7) Hair length: below my boobs
8) First school: JCC
9) Eye color: brown
10) Shoe size: 7
11) Mood: excited but worried
12) Height: 5'4
13) Lefty/Righty: Right
14) Do you remember your first real relationship? n/a
15) Do you believe in love? i think so.
16) Shortest relationship? again, n/a
17) Have you ever been heartbroken? i think? maybe? yes.
18) Do you love someone right now? i'm not sure if love is the right word...
19) Have you ever fallen for a friend? duh.
20) Are you afraid of commitment? no?
21) Do you believe in love at first sight? i don't think so
THIS OR THAT:
1) Love or money? i'm not sure...probably love...most likely.
2) Coffee or alcohol? alcohol.
3) One night stands or relationships? relationships. probably.
4) Television or internet? both!
5) Pepsi or Coke? d.coke.
6) Long night out or romantic night in? depends
7) Phone or in person? um in person, duh.
8) Have children? hell no.
HAVE YOU EVER:
1) Have you ever been caught sneaking out? no.
2) Have you ever skinny dipped? no
3) Have you ever been drunk? no
4) Have you ever been on a house boat? yep.
5) Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker? i don't think i've ever tried one.
6) Have you ever colored your hair? nope
7) Have you ever been streaking? nope
8) Have you ever been deep sea fishing? i don't know if it was deep, but yeah, maybe.
RANDOM:
1) What are you doing right now? this and watching zoey 101.
2) Are you German? yeah! good guess.
3) Are you Italian? noooo.
4) Are you French? in spirit.
5) Are you Mexican? hahaha no.
6) Are you Dutch? no
7) Are you Indian? noo.
8) Are you Irish? nar
9) Are your parents still married? yes
DO YOU:
1) Do you get depressed about things easily? depends.
2) Do you live life to the fullest? depends how you look at it. i like how i live my life, thanksverymuch.
3) Are you comfortable with the way you look? sometimes...
4) How do you dress? JCREW/stuff you'd find at barney's co-op.
5) Are you scared of growing old alone? if you mean alone without a significant other, then no, if you mean like cat lady-no friends alone then yes probably.
6) What do you want to be when you grow up? satisfied.
7) Favorite season? all of them.
8) Are you a vegetarian? no.
9) Who did you copy this survey from? maggles.
YOUR GUY SIDE
[] you love hoodies
[] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better then cats
[ ] its hilarious when people get hurt
[] shopping is torture....sometimes
[x] sad movies suck
[] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[] you own a DS PS2 or Sega
[] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] you watch sports on TV
[ ] gory movies are cool
[] you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to/do collect football collecter cards
[] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear sometimes
[ ] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[] sports are fun... sometimes
[] you talk with food in your mouth
[ ] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL= 4
---YOUR GIRLY SIDE
[x] you love to shop... sometimes
[x ] you wear eyeliner
[x] you wear the color pink
[] you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black
[x] you like going to the mall... sometimes
[x] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] you like wearing jewelry
[x] you cried watching/reading The Notebook..
[x!!!] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[x] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[x ] you dont like the movie Star Wars
[x] it takes you around one hour to shower & get dressed
[] you smile alot more than you should
[x] you have 10 pairs of shoes or more
[x] you care about what you look like
[x] you like wearing dresses when you can
[x] you like wearing perfume
[x ] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] you like putting makeup on others... sometimes
[x] you like being the star of something
[ x] pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 20
Three names you go by:
1. Kyra
2. Bloom
3. Kbloom
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. gollygee233
2. curlyfries233
3. havi05
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my cheeks
2. my boobs
3. my left foot
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. sometimes my stummyyy
2. my lower back
3. the tops of my thighs.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. JEW
2. russian
3. german.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. incense
2. anime
3. guns.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. hair bands
2. TEXTING
3. bras.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. hair bands
2. yrbk camp shirt
3. white soffes
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. happiness
2. thoughtfulness
3. interesting-ness
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1. whatthefuck
2. this
3. is stupid.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. i prefer it if they are not bald.
2. not obese.
3. not long fingernails.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. organizing
2. reading
3. STAMP COLLECTING. no, i just can't think of anything else.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. see katie.
2. see katie.
3. see katie.
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. i-banker
2. copywright/pubfinance/civrights lawyer
3. news anchor
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. luxembourg
2. paris
3. newyork
THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. lydia
2. mariella
3. juliette
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. make lots of MOOONEY
2. perform my favorite aria
3. make lots of gay friends.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i like clothes
2. i worry about my weight
3. i gots lotsa hair products.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i am always stereotypically a girl. always.
2.
3.
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July 25th, 2008
11:27 pm
Oh, god. Ohhh god. oh god oh god oh god oh god. OH GOD.
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August 26th, 2007
05:38 pm - car songs jenna leigh
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Party Like a Rockstar - Shop Boyz
Time after Time - Quietdrive
Lip Gloss - Lil Mama
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Home - Daughtry
Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
Bring it all Back - S Club 7
1985 - Bowling for Soup
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
Rockstar - Nickelback
Chicken Noodle Soup - DJ Webstar
Lust for Life - Iggy Pop
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March 13th, 2007
05:16 pm
My face felt gross so I started to cleanse it and its pores and whatnot. So I went to throw away the face cleaner thing and my trashcan is next to the toilet. So I bent down and my bloody hair went into the fucking toilet. And it wasnt just a corner of hair, it was quite a decent amount. So I threw off all of my clothes and jumped into the shower which was sort of nice. Kind of like a movie. I hope my hair's clean now.
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March 9th, 2007
10:02 am
I have beaucoup work to do.
Having fun here actually, but Im really freaking out. Like I'll think about all the shit I have to do and feel like i'm gonna throw up.
It could be a little fun, but i'd much rather stay at home instead of go to miami so I can finish everything. But it's my moms photo convention and my dad's dad lives there and gaby looooooves the beach bc it's an excuse to wear practically no clothing. The marc by marc jacobs store in bal harbour is enticing (jesus, when did i become so materialistic?) but I want to stay home. Not like I could stay with my grandparents.
I'm so screwed over for missing so much voice and dance. When I come back I'm going to be so stressed out. why'd I commit myself to so much anyway?? oh right. thats RIGHT. THATS FUCKING RIGHT. i didn't want to do any of it. my mother made me. that makes me even madder. I wanna do my fucking work and get it the hell over with. And monsieur was just so rude to me on wednesday that I now have a burning hatred for him even worse than before.
AND GODFUCKINGDAMMIT why the hell didn't he play my songs for me yet?? I'm going to SUCK because of this.
((i like how my typing gets louder and more poundingish the madder i get hehe))
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March 4th, 2007
07:24 pm
I never thought it would happen to us, but I guess it did. Apparently it happens to everyone with her. She's misleading. Whatever, I shouldn't think about it because everything else is as good as it gets I suppose.
My english grade's not going to come back up. It's sort of like over I guess. Everything is. I may have to start working again. But I should decide what I really want for myself before doing anything too drastic. Right and wrong aren't as definite as they used to be.
I love my ghetto black middle eastern white cousin.
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March 3rd, 2007
10:22 am
If I were more ethnic-looking and prettier I could be a print model and get loads of money for doing nothing.
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February 28th, 2007
05:24 pm
My eyes have been coated in make up. Pink and green and black. No one caught that I didn't have fake eyelashes because I lathered on the mascara!!!
OH and...I can't do this. Monsieur wants me to take a few classes with him in April or May. But he won't let me and King do it together. I WOULD HAVE TO BE ALONE IN A ROOM WITH THE CRAZY FRENCH MAN. Unless I could find another tutor. Which is like, Madame *dies*, or some random person I have yet to discover. And my mom's making me. Like I can't not move up. Holy fucking hell.
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February 27th, 2007
07:11 pm
I can't wait 'til this show is over. It is all sorts of awful.
But then I'll have to memorize the other lines before I can read the big stack of Gossip Girls Jules is letting me borrow...]= And civics project. I'd like to finish that baby up too.
I tripped over a cord again backstage today. And my hip is bruised from when idiot hit me with the door. And I like pulled the tendon by my right armpit. I don't know how that happened. Take me to the toy shop, mister dolly fixer sir, I need to be repaired!
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February 26th, 2007
08:46 pm
So much of mine life ist spent in confusion. Dost thou think it funny? I should hope not.
je veux le temps pour penser.
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February 22nd, 2007
09:53 pm
This needs to stop happening. Something bad happens, then it's taken away. How impossible, you say? Nothing is impossible in Kyra Land.
Sort of kind of really funny afternoon. Yet again, overwraught with emotion. But not. Everything's turning. I look up and think of people and smile. I look down and feel the bubbling in my stomach and frown. It's so funny. I hope, I pray, I wish. No, but it won't ever happen. What should I do? I can't decide. But I love them, I love them all.
It's that weird, shivering feeling. When everything's good, but the bad is right underneath all the good. And you get chills. I suppose that's what they call them. It feels like something's squeezing the back of your head and making you drowsy. Like when Kaley or Maggie would teach me how to draw. I want to laugh and cry and scream all at the same time.
But that's the thing. Us confused people have to hide it all. We gotta keep it all down underneath, and go on smiling our winner smiles like we have no thoughts except one at a time. Walk with a purpose, someone once told me. And sometimes I try to, I really do. But inside, deep down, it's all turmoil and tumult, just like this lj entry.
Me: Okay, here's my story, but I'm warning you, it's a little out-there.
Ms Jones: That's okay, so are you.
she's got that right.
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February 21st, 2007
05:13 pm
Being mad solves nothing. Being sad solves nothing either. Things happen no matter what, so there's no point in thinking about them. We are nothing. We are each an unwanted miniscule being in the big picture of time and our world. We may as well just do whatever we want, because who will remember what good actions we did or what kind of person we were once we are no longer here? No one. Everyone we once knew will be gone, too. The things that are remembered the most on this earth are the horrible things. Awful deeds and people will be forever remembered. The good will be forgotten usually as quickly as the sun rises and sets. Nothing is really worth working for, unless it gives you personally a happiness you want. Don't do things for others unless you get pleasure from helping them. At the time it may be a nice gesture, but in the large scheme of things you may have wasted a minute of doing something that could make your short time on this earth more memorable or enjoyable for you. Ask yourself what really matters. And follow that, but nothing else. Because remember, you know the truth. It doesn't matter.
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February 20th, 2007
07:56 pm
So I was thinking today waiting in the car for my sister to get out of dance. And, I'll admit, my thinking was abruptly interrupted when a rather large woman entered my dance teacher's house without so much as a knock, but of course it didn't take much wondering to come to a conclusion about who she was...
But anyway. I think missing people is one of the hardest things. Not like missing persons, but actually emotionally wishing you were near someone you can't be with, whether they're dead or just far away. And it sort of almost gets to the point where it's so painful you don't even want to see people again, because you don't want to experience the sadness once they're gone. In the case of if they aren't dead.
I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my thinking is being distorted by Gaby's singing Beyonce at the top of the stairwell. Maybe no one else feels like missing anyone is that hard. But if it weren't for becoming emotionally attached to certain people, a lot of sadness in my life would have been eliminated. Yes, when I begin to think it's definitely somewhat dangerous.
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February 19th, 2007
04:06 pm
Today at practice Faraz brought up an interesting idea.
I was attempting to do stomp moves and he was making fun of me, saying Jews can't stomp and it's mostly a black people thing. We were trying to think of the best way to make me turn black, and he came up with the idea of dousing my body in silver nitrate. It lasts atleast a week, too, as I have learned from experience. Points for creativity.
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February 16th, 2007
12:06 pm
Me: Gaby, change your lipgloss color, it's way too light for your face.
Her: We have the same face.
Me: And that's why I would never be caught wearing that color lipgloss.
Her: You're just jealous I'm prettier than you.
Me: You look like a whore.
Her: What?! I look like I'm POOR?!?!
Me (thinking she said whore): Yeah.
Her: MOOOOOOOOOOM!!! DO I LOOK LIKE I'M POOR!??!?!?
Me: No Gab, you like like a WHORE.
Her: Oh. *smiles happily*
weird family.
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February 14th, 2007
09:20 pm
They’re always there for me NOT YOU
I NOT YOU smile when they’re near
They can stop my NOT YOUR crying sadness
And reduce it to a tear
Just the thought of knowing
They can always make me NOT YOU smile
The happiness they give me NOT YOU
Will last much more than just a while
I was told to make my poem more personal. So I did. So there.
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06:12 pm
lunch today with the FOB obsessers.
L: what's that song about?
T: pete wentz and his friend had a fight on livejournal and then they wrote a song about it.
M: what's livejournal?
PC: oh, it's like myspace for emo people.
quote of the day.
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February 13th, 2007
06:19 pm
A woman came up to my mom in the grocery to say how wonderful her husband said I was. I talked to the husband in September, but apparently he liked me a lot or something and I was one of the "defining factors" in deciding that he wanted their kids to go to Trinity. I wish I could've told him not all trinity kids are as wonderful as me... But I thought that was weird. That they remembered me and all.
Today = yay.
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February 11th, 2007
09:57 am
When I went on that school trip to Washington in 6th grade, we were pulled over by the police because some idiot shined a laser out the window. I was in the back next to someone I wasn't a huge fan of, and I was feeling sick already. But I remember when the policeman came on the bus I was curled up in a ball on the floor of the back next to the bathroom because I felt so awful.
And I remember the song. They sang that song. They still remember it too. Some of them were singing it in science about a month ago. It was a funny song. But not so funny when I was near crying from feeling so motion sick or whatever it was.
I sort of feel now like I did at the back of the bus that last day of the DC trip, except without the annoyingness of the song playing like a broken record (my friends' voices). My tummy hurts :[
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